by the Rookie J. Barnes
So, I attended my first official networking event today. There were two chapters of a local referral group and loads of guests present. There were nearly 200 attendees. My anxiety was high.
Rules, rules, rules, rules… I noticed early in my professional career and networking endeavors that everyone has “rules”. For the most part, they are all very similar. It’s the twist that an individual or group places on the rule to make it unique to them that gives it value.
There’s nothing wrong with rules, except that for someone relatively new to a formal means of networking, I could definitely see how one might get a little overwhelmed. Especially when examples are given that if a “rule” is broken you’ll hear tectonic plates shift the earth off its axis. Sometimes you can over do it and cause yourself unnecessary brain damage, by being overly concerned about rules. My Rule? Just don’t intentionally act like a jerk and you’ll be fine.
So, for my first event I brought with me a well-rehearsed 30-second introduction, business cards, a specific goal and a fail safe formula to qualify referral partners which, in theory would have maximized my time.
After a brief period of settling in with a nice cup of coffee and a bad continental breakfast, we were herded into the conference room. It was easy to discern the members and veterans of networking from the daisy fresh rookies like myself. We stuck out like a sore thumb. Eyes wide open trying not to miss anything and searching aimlessly for someone to talk to. A little skeptical, a little hopeful. Some newbies backed into corners or hid behind a pillar. Others appeared to be sprinting from one person to the next, shoveling business cards into their pockets. Some acted too cool to talk to anyone.
Then there was me; I had a plan. As luck would have it, their agenda and rules fit right into it. Everyone in the room had 7 seconds to introduce themselves and give the catch phrase. I feverishly took notes on those I wanted to target and then…they would be mine.
Introductions were a snap. Some made the connection with everyone and others flopped. The people that stood out and, I believe, got the most reception were the ones that used a truly unique method to connect. It usually involved genuine good humor and sometimes had nothing relating directly to their business. Something off the wall. It spurred me to think of “AGD” a term used in debate. “Attention getting device”…what was my AGD?
Of almost 200 business men and women I wrote down 12 that I would place my sights on and immediately jump them when the opportunity would present itself. I was ready to work them over within about 3 minutes and move on to the next.
The introductions are over and it’s time for an exchange of business cards. Except this exchange is done with the intent of gathering as many cards as possible within 90 seconds. Due to the excitement of the event I didn’t hear all the “rules” but I’ll come back to that. We have 90 seconds to exchange as many business cards as possible. Interesting.
This is where I tell you about one of the “rules” I believe in. I don’t give my card out to just anyone. If you ask I’ll give you one. If I think that we should continue contact or there is a genuine possibility of a professional relationship I’ll ask for yours and offer mine. But, I believe my cards are a unique and professional representation of me and my company. I don’t just haphazardly throw them around. Yet with great trepidation I did just that and cringed the entire way. I still feel dirty about it. It was weird. There was no meaning or connection made. It was all about getting the most cards to win a cheap door prize.
I literally watched a room full of professionals act like kids on an easter egg hunt scurrying about, gathering up cards. I was not expecting that. I don’t want to bust anyone’s bubble or take the fun out of it, but I was there for business, period. Getting a card doesn’t mean anything. Was there any purpose behind the exchange or did you just waste 50 perfect business cards on people you never qualified or made a meaningful connection with?
Back to the actual start of this speed dating business card exchange and the rules I failed to listen to. Right off the bat I screwed it up. The very first lady I run into has her hand out. Silly me to think she wants to shake my hand. Nope, she pulls back, tries shoving her card in my face while I’m still not comprehending that this is the speed dating of business card exchange.
When I get nervous, I make stupid jokes that very few people understand. Nothing crass, just silly. So, with this woman I made a sorry attempt at slight of hand. Apparently she checked her sense of humor at the door and snapped at me “give me your card”. The clouds parted, the light shown through and the light bulb exploded in my head. It finally clicked that I had just wasted 10 seconds of this woman’s speed dating business card exchange experience.
Next on the agenda was referral exchange time,and members stood up to offer referrals to others. Then testimonials. I don’t need a show like this. I think you’re in or you’re out on networking. Not a whole lot that are on the fence about it. The only thing it did for me was help me identify a couple more professionals that would be worth making friends with. Something that otherwise would be done over time with a steady group anyway.
They also had a member speak for 10 minutes. No other way to put it other than a boring. God bless her because I know first hand how hard it is to give a speech in front of that many people. She just needed a little spice. In that forum when trying to attract new members…rough.
So in the final moments I realize I’m under pressure of time and people are already starting to leave. It was odd to say the least. I almost felt desperate because I had yet to make the networking connections I had planned for.
In summation, I was rehearsed and had a plan in place. When I was able, I executed my plan. But, a lesson I continue to learn over and over is to be flexible. Plans change as your environment becomes influenced by uncontrollable forces. Don’t get angry about it, just roll with it. It will all shake out in the end. In the mid to long term, I definitely see the value in networking and you can bet you’ll see me out there.
I’ll be the guy trying to control the urge to sell you something and hoping I know enough people I can make a QUALIFIED referral to you. You can’t miss me, 5′10″, big nose, bald.
Jeshua Barnes is the newest member to the NEF editorial staff in the position of Editor-at-Large; recruiting local Colorado Editors. You can learn more about Jeshua in his editor profile.
